The　girl　may　have　been　young　and　spoilt；　but　I’ve　thought　of　her　often　in　terms　of　relationships　thwarted　as　a　gap　opens　up　between　the　expectations　of　one　party　and　the　failure　to　deliver　of　the　other。

Who　of　the　parties　is　to　blame？　The　one　making　excessive；　unrealistic　demands；　or　the　one　who　won’t　–　or　can’t　–　measure　up？

Probably　both；　for　failing　to　make　the　necessary　promises　to　meet　halfway。

Waiting　on　the　quay　in　Roundstone；　I　spotted　an　author　whom　I　knew　slightly。　With　me　was　a　friend：　an　intrepid　woman　who　had　spent　years　of　her　life　paddling　a　canoe　round　Papua　New　Guinea　teaching　English　to　the　native　population。

We　chatted　with　him；　until　the　craft　arrived　to　take　us　away　to　an　off…shore　island。　The　author　stared　aghast　from　us　to　the　rib。　“You’re　going　off　–　in　that？”

“Why　ever　not？”　we　asked；　disconcerted。　He　shook　his　head　incredulously。　“I　can’t　see　either　of　you　getting　into　a　boat　like　that。”

We　leapt　in　like　gazelles　in　front　of　him；　though　our　morale　was　at　an　all…time　low。　“How　did　this　happen？”　we　asked　ourselves　dejectedly。　“How　did　we　bee　so　dull；　middle…aged　and　frumpish；　that　other　people　can’t　imagine　us　having　a　bit　of　fun？”

Months　later；　when　I　next　met　the　author；　he　was　still　going　on　about　the　two　of　us　setting　off　in　the　rib。　Annoyed；　I　challenged　him：　“What　was　so　strange　about　that？”

He　smiled　deprecatingly。　“It’s　just　that　I　have　a　problem　with　boats。　A　kind　of　phobia。　I　wouldn’t　get　into　one　of　those　rubber　dinghies　if　my　life　depended　on　it。”

And　I　noted；　yet　again；　how　easy　it　is　to　view　things　purely　out　of　your　own　perspective；　overlooking　the　fact　that　the　other　person　is　doing　eactly　the　same。

No　matter　how　placid　and　peaceful　you　are；　it　will　occasio