s。

“‘This　life；’　said　I　at　last；　‘is　hell：　this　is　the　air—those　are　the　sounds　of　the　bottomless　pit！　I　have　a　right　to　deliver　myself　from　it　if　I　can。　The　sufferings　of　this　mortal　state　will　leave　me　with　the　heavy　flesh　that　now　cumbers　my　soul。　Of　the　fanatic’s　burning　eternity　I　have　no　fear：　there　is　not　a　future　state　worse　than　this　present　one—let　me　break　away；　and　go　home　to　God！’

“I　said　this　whilst　I　knelt　down　at；　and　unlocked　a　trunk　which　contained　a　brace　of　loaded　pistols：　I　mean　to　shoot　myself。　I　only　entertained　the　intention　for　a　moment；　for；　not　being　insane；　the　crisis　of　exquisite　and　unalloyed　despair；　which　had　originated　the　wish　and　design　of　self…destruction；　was　past　in　a　second。

“A　wind　fresh　from　Europe　blew　over　the　ocean　and　rushed　through　the　open　casement：　the　storm　broke；　streamed；　thundered；　blazed；　and　the　air　grew　pure。　I　then　framed　and　fixed　a　resolution。　While　I　walked　under　the　dripping　orange…trees　of　my　wet　garden；　and　amongst　its　drenched　pomegranates　and　pine…apples；　and　while　the　refulgent　dawn　of　the　tropics　kindled　round　me—I　reasoned　thus；　Jane—and　now　listen；　for　it　was　true　Wisdom　that　consoled　me　in　that　hour；　and　showed　me　the　right　path　to　follow。

“The　sweet　wind　from　Europe　was　still　whispering　in　the　refreshed　leaves；　and　the　Atlantic　was　thundering　in　glorious　liberty；　my　heart；　dried　up　and　scorched　for　a　long　time；　swelled　to　the　tone；　and　filled　with　living　blood—my　being　longed　for　renewal—my　soul　thirsted　for　a　pure　draught。　I　saw　hope　revive—and　felt　regeneration　possible。　From　a　flowery　arch　at　the　bottom　of　my　garden　I　gazed　over　the　sea—bluer　than　the　sky：　the　old　world　was　beyond；　clear　prospects　opened　thus：—

“‘Go；’　said　Hope；　‘and　live　again　in　Europe：　there　it