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第17部分

and subdued character。

But destiny; in the shape of the Rev。 Mr。 Nasmyth; came between me and Miss Temple: I saw her in her travelling dress step into a post…chaise; shortly after the marriage ceremony; I watched the chaise mount the hill and disappear beyond its brow; and then retired to my own room; and there spent in solitude the greatest part of the half…holiday granted in honour of the occasion。

I walked about the chamber most of the time。 I imagined myself only to be regretting my loss; and thinking how to repair it; but when my reflections were concluded; and I looked up and found that the afternoon was gone; and evening far advanced; another discovery dawned on me; namely; that in the interval I had undergone a transforming process; that my mind had put off all it had borrowed of Miss Temple—or rather that she had taken with her the serene atmosphere I had been breathing in her vicinity—and that now I was left in my natural element; and beginning to feel the stirring of old emotions。 It did not seem as if a prop were withdrawn; but rather as if a motive were gone: it was not the power to be tranquil which had failed me; but the reason for tranquillity was no more。 My world had for some years been in Lowood: my experience had been of its rules and systems; now I remembered that the real world was wide; and that a varied field of hopes and fears; of sensations and excitements; awaited those who had courage to go forth into its expanse; to seek real knowledge of life amidst its perils。

I went to my window; opened it; and looked out。 There were the two wings of the building; there was the garden; there were the skirts of Lowood; there was the hilly horizon。 My eye passed all other objects to rest on those most remote; the blue peaks; it was thos